Robots are Coming

We gave blood this weekend at the Huntsville AL LIFESouth Community Blood Center. Before you applaud, know that it was at least 50% selfish. I've wanted to give blood before, but like 10% of adults (but mostly just children), I have a fear of needles. It's not a full-on phobia, but close enough. My doctor informed me that donating was the best way to find out my blood type, which I didn't know, and a few days later a blood donation flyer showed up in the mail.

From Blood and Kittens

My dad has received blood a number of times and for that fact alone I'd wanted to donate before, but it wasn't enough for me to go through with it. Haley had never been either and was unsure. Long story short, we went Sat morning and it was a breeze. There was a large selection of food, mandatory leis, and a very nice group of people running the show.

From Blood and Kittens

Haley beat me to the finish and when it was over, we spent some time in the "Tiki lounge" before heading out. I know that it is LIFESouth's best interest to make the experience as nice as possible, but these guy's are some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I felt bad that so few people appeared to be showing up to donate. At the end we received several certificates for various free food and a movie ticket. There was a lunch, a moonwalk to keep kids busy, and a cholesterol test, all for the price of one pint of blood.

The bonus: Somebody (supposedly as many as three people) gets to live because of it.
The extra bonus for me: Somebody is going to have a little Bryan in them and my highly trained red blood cells will take over the host body and have it do my bidding.
The extra bonus for the person the blood saves: They get some premium Bryan blood which has several added benefits such as: 50 extra IQ points, a 300% increase in muscle strength, and in a few weeks will become at least five times more attractive! That's quite a deal!

Note: You also get covered for a year for the cost of blood if your insurance won't cover your needs.

Haley's blood will save a life too. On top of a 1500% increase in attractiveness, her recipient will soon discover the ability to sense chocolate being opened anywhere within a 37.2 km radius.

Jokes aside, it was a good experience and I'm willing to do it again. If you are healthy you should do it. You never know when it will be you needing some of the sweet red.

What happened next
This is where the story turns and I blame the events herein entirely upon blood loss. Well not entirely.

Haley likes cats and I have some weird emotional aversion to them based on a rough time I had one year while living with a rather annoying cat.

On Christmas morning 2007 in our Oregon apartment, I got up early and went for a run. After getting back home I had an idea. I rolled up my sweaty gym shirt, held it in my arms like a kitten, and went to wake up Haley.

I meowed a little in the dim light just as Haley was opening her eyes. In the following 15 seconds Haley went from asleep, to wide-eyed happiness with the facial expression of a child that just found a shiny new bicycle, to a confused state with a terribly crushed look on her face as the "kitten" turned into a sweaty gym shirt as it fell into her briefly joyful arms.

I don't think I've ever seen someone go from so happy to so sad that quickly before. It sounds a little terrible, but I laughed at least 45 minutes. It's still one of the funniest memories I have, but it was a bit mean. I didn't think she would buy into the gag so perfectly and somewhere deep inside the awesomeness that makes up my being, I feel a little bad about it.

What happened next (for real this time)
Haley and I drove up at the Huntsville Animal Services building near the donation center. She didn't know where we were going, but I thought I'd see how she would react.


Walking through the dog section was really heart breaking. If you have the time and space for a dog, plus a shred of compassion in your body, don't visit the kennel, you will walk away with a dog. We don't have the time or a good space, so we left the lonely dogs behind. Haley played with some kittens for a bit and checked out the adult cats. In the lobby I told her it was her decision if she wanted one and could think about it.


To speed this up, she pondered the question and we stopped by Petsmart on the way home. She'd seen some kittens there a few days ago (early warning signs) and several hours later we have two kittens living with us.

From Blood and Kittens

What's happening now
I sort of attribute the quickness of acquisition and the second cat to blood loss. I'd already decided to let her get one, so the timing didn't really matter to me. Getting two kittens has actually been great so far. Whenever they are apart they are loud and make a mess. Together they are quiet and play with each other most of the time.


Their names are Cortana (yes, we are big Halo fans) and Winifred (Fred for short and yes, we are Joss Whedon fans). So far so good. Cortana pooped on her bed, but otherwise they've been very well behaved.

From Blood and Kittens

Personally I would never get a cat (if you know me at all, you're probably surprised that I'd even consider it), but love and blood loss make you do crazy things. Sometimes love makes you do stupid things, but after all, it's just a couple of cats (I hope I don't eat those words).